I just watched an amazing story from a Canadian Trans Man about how his facebook account was banned for posting pictures of his top surgery. And since Erin seems to have forgotten about weekly video picks, Holly will fill in. (Editors note: I haven't forgotten, I have been out of town and lazy... that's very different)
A Happiest of New Years folk of Grishno.com! I was reading through some forum posts and was going to write a reply, but i figured why not just write and post an article? Why? Because i can! mwahaha. But seriously, this will be good, i promise.
Having "survived" a number of relationships while facing my own issues of self identity and transgenderism, i figured i might offer some insight based upon my own expieriences and realizations. I'm not sure if any of this of any use, just as i am as unsure of what conclusions i can come to while still constantly moving forward and facing similar issues...
Anyways, lets see if i can jog ye old memory box. Well, my first relationship lasted through most of highschool. At the time I was very much in denial and still in the closet.. literally: my closet was where i hid my "girl" stuff. I wasn't sure of my feelings, and felt quite embarrassed of my "crossdressing" habits. I didn't know anything about transsexuality or transgenderism -- all I thought was that a "sex change" was some rare thing no one ever talked about. Anyways, i eventually confessed to my girlfriend that i enjoyed wearing and doing woman's things, and she took it ok, but nothing else really came from that and the topic wasn't really talked about much. Needless to say, after highschool she cheated on me and dumped me and broke my heart, so perhaps it was for the best that i didn't divulge too much information...
Now my next girlfriend i met at college very shortly after and was in a relationship for another 3 years. During this time my "funny feelings" only deepened as i further explored my identity, and learned about others in world through the magical device we now know as the internet. I kept hidden my secret, until i was inevitably forced to explain myself to her why i shaved my legs. And she was absolutely supportive of me! And we are still good friends now, and she has said she is so happy for me! But at the time I still wasn't sure exactly what i wanted to do, but at least i had someone to confide in. She even helped me go shopping for makeup and clothes and stuff. We even went together to the Pride Parade, which was one of the first times i was out in public as Holly. It was great fun, but sadly there was much stress on our relationship as i really only found myself even more confused. I would often ask myself, "How can i expect this person to love me for who i am if don't even know who i am!". Regrettably, we broke up.
I ended up going to a transgender support group to try and learn more and meet other people, but it wasn't what i hoped for -- a bit of a generation gap. But than we got back together and tried to resolve our problems, but something still wasn't right... I ended up breaking up with her, and had a complete nervous/emotional/spiritual breakdown as i felt my identity just shattered into pieces...
2009 was a big crazy year, full of major changes both good and bad, failures and successes, ups and downs; but let's end it on a positive note; what was your biggest transitional success of 2009. For me it was taking my advocacy work (youtube videos, website, etc) further than I thought possible. This year was the first year of Grishno.com, and it's come a long way from its inception. It's been an amazing experience to be able to have an effect on so many peoples lives, and being able to expand that work through my website has been an experience I will never forget.
But enough about me, what about you? Take a look at the poll results above, or add your own successes as a comment to this article.
Also, don't forget to take this weeks new poll about what your biggest transitional goal is for 2010.
Sexism effect transgender people because they are in a constant battle of justifying their gender. Constant pressure to conform to gender norms are evident in nearly all transgenders' lives. Society wants men to be men and women to be women. Transsexuals are living their live in their desired gender, which is opposite of what they were born. Because of this transition, people who do not understand the transgender plight and tend to judge transsexuals on a hyperbolic standard of characteristics of that transsexual's desired sex.
For example, the social norm is that women are submissive and passive. So if a male-to-female transsexual shows aggression, that aggression is perceive as her biological traits shining through. Even though women act aggressive at times, they ignore that fact and blame it one that natal born sex. A Transsexuals desired gender is validated based on them following unrealistic rules and social stereotypes of men and women. They are not taking seriously because of this exaggerated standard. Women and men are diverse in how they act in society would not that mean that transgendered individual will be just as diverse?
Sexism is all about male domination; therefore the effects of sexism on both types of transsexuals are different. In a male dominated world, misogynistic views are prevalent. Female-to-male transsexuals are seen as weak because they were born, biologically,women. Male-to-female transsexuals are seen as weak because they are transitioning to be the perceived weak gender, female. What going on in Africa is a prime example of this kind of sexism. The simmering anger from the male population toward lesbians and female-to-male transsexuals in Africa fuels a rise in corrective rapes. The majority of males there believe that by raping, they "correct" the mental thinking of the lesbians or female-to-male transsexuals. They believe that a woman should be a woman and man a man, so they usurp authority and enforce it through rape. In the documentary "Raped for Who I Am" by Lovinsa Kevuma, an African man says this when ask his feelings on corrective rape: